Recommended reading

Introduction, p.2 My career has definitely come out of my childhood experiences : Elaine's story, illustrated by Ruslan Idrisov, p. 4 Violence begets violence : Tremain's story, illustrated by Jordan Wisniewski, p. 22 Those are clouds that are cove

In this book eight people tell their personal stories of the family violence they experienced as children and how this affected the rest of their lives. These stories give hope that lives can be healed and that the cycle of violence can be broken. The idea for the book came from a women's hui about family violence held in Hamilton in 2006. After the hui it was decided to record people's stories because they show so vividly what the real effects of violence are for children - and the adults they become. One attendee at the hui said 'It's time we started telling these stories' - and that statement was chosen as the title for this book. Their stories show the devastating effects of family violence as it is passed on from one generation to the next. They illustrate the different forms and intensity of the results. For some the major effect was physical as they perpetuated violence in their own families; for others it meant a lifetime of anxiety. Their strength and resilience is obvious in their stories. These stories are intended to help others who have suffered from family violence and to help New Zealanders understand the impact of family violence on individuals, their families and their communities. We know that children are damaged by violence in the home - whether they see it, hear it or just know about it. It has been proven that the brain development of preschoolers is profoundly inhibited by exposure to violence in the home. Family violence thrives in secrecy - so the more we talk about it and understand it, the more likely we are to prevent it. These stories give hope that lives can be healed and that the cycle of violence can be broken. Contents Introduction, p.2 My career has definitely come out of my childhood experiences : Elaine's story, illustrated by Ruslan Idrisov, p. 4 Violence begets violence : Tremain's story, illustrated by Jordan Wisniewski, p. 22 Those are clouds that are covering the sun : Margaret's story, illustrated by Caley Wiki, p. 38 That anxiety-ridden waiting game of my childhood : Sophia's story, illustrated by Olivia Coetzee, p.54 We do choose our behaviours : George's story, illustrated by Vanessa Morrison, p.70 I thought I had "come and abuse me" written on my forehead Lucy's story, illustrated by Zoe Fannin, p.86 It hit you in the heart : Jane's story, illustrated by Kirstyn Hatton, p.104 It's about the whole of society : Lorri's story, illustrated by Polina Outkina, p.120 Acknowledgments, p.140 Afterword, p.141

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